A fine dining meal isn’t just about what’s on the plate—it’s about the entire experience. The atmosphere, service, and attention to detail set it apart, but even small missteps can take away from the moment. Some are so common they go unnoticed, yet they can change how the meal unfolds. Before your next reservation, see if you’ve been making any of these dining mistakes.
Treating The Napkin Like An Afterthought
The napkin is not just for wiping your mouth—it’s a signal. The moment you sit, place it on your lap. If you excuse yourself, neatly place it on your chair, not the table. When you’re done eating, fold it loosely and set it to the left of your plate. Tossing it in a crumpled heap? That’s like leaving a mess in a hotel room and expecting housekeeping to be thrilled about it.
Holding The Wine Glass By The Bowl
Grabbing a wine glass by the bowl isn’t just a visual offense—it affects the temperature of the wine. Fancy restaurants don’t pour carefully chilled or decanted wines just for you to warm them up with your palms. Hold it by the stem. If you’re at a formal dinner and need a refill, don’t just top off your own glass without offering to pour for your table partner first. That small gesture goes a long way.
Overcomplicating The Silverware Situation
The lineup of forks, knives, and spoons can look a bit complicated, but the rule is easy: start from the outside and work your way in. If you’re unsure which utensil to use, it’s fine to glance at what others are doing. Just avoid rearranging the silverware, and remember, it’s best not to lick or scrape your knife clean, as it may raise a few eyebrows.
Ordering Like It’s A Fast-Food Drive-Thru
In fine dining, it’s important to take your time with your order. If you need modifications, try to keep them reasonable. For example, asking for a well-done steak at a place known for medium-rare cuts or requesting ketchup at a high-end French restaurant might not be ideal. It’s all about balancing your needs without changing the essence of the dish.
Ignoring The Unspoken Bread Rules
Yes, there are rules when it comes to bread. First, don’t use a knife to cut it, and definitely don’t turn it into a DIY sandwich with the fancy butter. The right way? Tear off a small piece, butter it individually, and enjoy. Also, your bread plate should be on the left—take from the wrong one, and you might just spark a passive-aggressive plate war with your neighbor.
Talking With A Full Mouth (Or Worse, Chewing Loudly)
Servers notice everything, and nothing makes them cringe like guests who chomp, slurp, or talk mid-chew. It’s basic etiquette, but you’d be surprised how often it’s ignored. If you’re about to speak, swallow first, and when sipping soup, keep it quiet—nobody wants a live demonstration of sound effects.
Leaving Your Phone On The Table
A phone sitting on the table, lighting up with notifications, is like an unwanted dinner guest. Unless you’re expecting an emergency call, keep it out of sight. Checking your messages between bites makes it seem like you’d rather be somewhere else. Servers notice when people are glued to their screens, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by your dining companions either.
Flagging Down The Server Like A Taxi
Snapping fingers, waving arms, or making direct eye contact with exaggerated urgency? Not the ideal move. Good restaurants train their staff to be attentive without hovering. The best way to get their attention is simple—make brief eye contact or raise a subtle hand when they pass by. Anything more dramatic is just embarrassing.
Messing With The Table Setting
If you’re rotating your plate or stacking empty dishes like you’re at home, it’s best to stop. There’s a system for clearing tables, and disrupting it only makes things harder for the server. When you’re finished, simply place your fork and knife together at a slight angle on the plate. That’s the universal signal that you’re done—no need to push the plate away as if it’s offended you.
Tipping Like You’re At A Coffee Shop
When you’re in a country where tipping is expected, don’t settle for the bare minimum at a fine dining restaurant. Good service is part of the experience and should be rewarded accordingly. Aim for 20% for exceptional service and 15% for solid service. Leaving only coins or a few stray bills after an expensive meal? That’s a quick way to make your server regret that extra water refill.
