With all this talk about Manny Pacquiao’s camp getting a $500 Million class action lawsuit filed against them I can’t help wonder why Floyd Mayweather Jr. isn’t getting the same treatment. Granted Pacquiao’s situation is probably one that could be better handled by actual law, it seems that Floyd definitely owes us, the fans, something as well. Sure, Pacquiao lied. And yes he covered up an injury that should have delayed this fight. And yeah, there’s actually physical proof that he did this (documents). But let’s get down to it. The guy hid an injury because he wanted to fight. That’s warrior tough as far as I’m concerned. Was it a smart move? No. Did it screw up the fight? Yup. However, just from observing the fight, as well as the way Mayweather Jr. has fought over the past decade, we all know that Mayweather Jr. would have been playing defense no matter how injured or not injured Pacquiao was or is. Pacquiao may have been stronger with his shoulder at 100% but that doesn’t change anything in terms of fight strategy. Mayweather Jr. would still play defense as he always does. The only difference is that if Pacquiao landed a few more power shots it would increase his chances of a lucky knockout. And I do mean lucky because Mayweather Jr.’s defense is awfully good and the guy barely makes mistakes.
But I’m not here to talk about fighting mechanics or who would win. I’ll leave that to the boxing analysts who know way more about this than I (ahem Skip Bayless, stop talking). I’m here lodging a formal complaint against Mayweather Jr. If Pacquiao is getting sued, then come on fans, it’s time to get after Pretty Boy Floyd and his new $380 Million net worth post fight. Would any of these reasons hold up in a court of law? There’s gotta be a lawyer out there who can make this stuff stick. So let’s talk about thereasons why Floyd Mayweather Jr. is going to be defending himself against me in a court of law pretty soon.
1. He’s the most boring fighter ever
For a guy that’s worth more than nearly any athlete on the planet, and who now commands over $100 million per fight, boy is he boring to watch. In fact he is so boring that I’m willing to bet millions of fans fell asleep during this fight and injured themselves in some way. I remember nodding off and banging my head against the table a few times. Can’t I blame Mayweather Jr. for this? Shouldn’t he be paying my medical bills? It’s because of him that my sleep patterns got messed up, I woke up multiple times at night, wasn’t as productive as work and lost 1000’s of dollars because of it. If I’m going to get injured watching a fight, I’d rather it be from jumping up and down because of the excitement. Case in point: Hagler vs. Hearns Round 1
2. Five Domestic Abuse Cases and Not one Suspension
I sincerely hope he loses the latest $20 million suit against him from a women he previously hit. But what about all the others? What about the women who probably didn’t step up to speak? Remember, we’re talking 5 cases that actually stuck. You know there’s gotta be oodles and oodles of cases that never even got mentioned. Is this all speculation? You bet it is but come on people. The guy hits women. Plain and simple. So yeah, I think all his prior victims deserve a cut of his $180 million purse for this fight.
3. This Red Jacket
The first time I saw this jacket my eyes hurt so bad that I had to look away. I then proceeded to look at the sun for a few seconds. Of course I went blind, tripped on my floor and lost a tooth. The bill? $600 million. I think that Floyd should be covering my dentist bill.
4. Money to train Larry Merchant for a fight
OK, if Mayweather were a real man, he’d donate $100 million to scientific research in order to reverse the aging process of Larry Merchant so we could train him for a true Super Fight. After watching this interview I think we can all agree that Merchant deserves a shot. We can all agree that Mayweather was truly hurt by all of this. Fans across the country deserve an exciting fight and I for one would pay top dollar for a Merchant/Mayweather bout. You’ll have to excuse the language in this clip but we had to share it. Larry Merchant might be my favorite human being in the world right now. I’m calling you out Floyd. Give us the money and let us train Larry.
5. This video made me throw up laughing
And you guessed it. I had to go to the hospital only to get nailed with a six figure doctor bill because I didn’t have insurance. I spent the last 99 bucks I had to order to watch this fight on Pay-Per-View. So when this video came out the next day I was eating some chips, minding my own business and turned it on. I started laughing so hard that I wound up regurgitating on the floor and on my shoes. I then slipped on the contents on the floor giving me a huge welt on my head. My bandage is still on and I’m still waiting on Mayweather Jr. to cover my bill.
Shouldn’t Mayweather Jr. pay up for at least some of the damage he’s caused to every single person who watched this fight?
Images via Getty
